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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655016">Nerve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Amber/pseuds/Ember_Amber'>Ember_Amber</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Host (2013), The Host - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friendship/Love, Redemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:16:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Amber/pseuds/Ember_Amber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about repentance, making amends, and finding companionship and appreciation in an unlikely acquaintance.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyle O'Shea/Wanderer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nerve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, on a fateful night, I walked around the house and felt this chill up my spine, especially when I walked into an unlit room, so that's where the idea came from. For some reason, instead of writing something original, I felt like paying this tribute to a book I never read (sorry fans), and creating something beautiful out of an ugly start. Hopefully, I'll do these lovely characters some justice without butchering the English language. Sorry for the many mistakes I make, I am trying to correct most of them. It is incredibly hard doing so when Grammarly points them out every other sentence and I only have the beta version, and English is my second language, so I must make do.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nerve</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Under this new skin, Wanderer often felt an irrational fear when walking in the dark. Something rooted deep within Melanie made her flinch at the menace waiting within, hiding in the pitch black of her room and the unlit corners of the caves. As soon as she turned her back to close the door, she felt somebody pulling her from behind. A rough hand suppressing a scream, a long arm traping her, lungs exhaling in panic, her insides a turmoil. Melanie reacted, stepping on the man’s foot, which Wanda followed up, biting the soft skin between his thumb and forefinger; a groan escaped her assaulter.</p>
<p>“Fuck! Geez… stop it, it’s me.”</p>
<p>His pleading only served to aggravate his situation. As soon as Wanderer heard his voice, she began struggling in his arms for release. Kicking, shaking, which almost felt effective considering her current body’s strength. She mumbled something, attempting to scream, but her voice sounded like a figment of the imagination. No one would hear her, and who could guarantee her safety, even if they did?</p>
<p>“Look, I am not here to kill you! Would you quit it?”</p>
<p>She gradually stilled her limbs, just as he said, and finally, his hands loosened their grip. Feeling her way towards the lamp by the wall, she switched it on, and this new light, though dim, revealed Kyle’s dark eyes fixed on her, conveying all the things he never said. Unsure, the soul could only tell his gaze was opposite to Ian’s, or rather their whole persona was. The youngest ever so friendly and gentle, whilst the older one communicated only anger and harshness. At least around Wanda, as if he wished to go back in time and switch places with Ian; he would, for sure, go through with their dirty work. Perhaps, Kyle had played it all out in his mind when his fingers caressed the skin of her neck, Wanda thought, the tip of his fingernails scraping it slightly before letting her go.</p>
<p>“How did you come through?”</p>
<p>Her astonished voice, usually so blunt, brought a slight smile to his lips. “Your tower isn't as safe as you think, fungus."</p>
<p>And that she was, like a fungus taking over the body and brain of its host, telling them what to do, moving around, consuming them until death; and then, the parasite found a new creature to inhabit, spreading, elongating its life and creating more of its kind. Kyle’s nostrils flared.</p>
<p>Her arms were crossed protectively, and if not for the fear still sinking in, she would have touched the back of her head, remembering clear as day the dismal pain and dizziness after being thrown against walls and on the ground by the same hands that just a minute ago subdued her. Haunting, like the murky eyes that locked with hers in the cafeteria, or suspiciously followed her figure, as to make sure she could not escape the very place she willingly came to.</p>
<p>“So?” The question came out breathy, to her dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>Calm down, Wanda. Show confidence. If only Mel could take over while she hid, a mere observer of the whole spectacle.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to… wanted to thank you for what you did the other day…”</p>
<p>It had been weeks ago when she covered up for him, though she had been hurt. Kyle looked at her as if asking Wanda to say something, help him avoid the talk, avoid himself. Wanda, on the other hand, waited patiently for him to elaborate, with no intention of cutting him off.</p>
<p>“For saving me, despite everything I did. I am... s-sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine."</p>
<p>“Fine? Somebody tries to kill you and it is fine?!”</p>
<p>For the first time, we can agree.</p>
<p>In truth, Wanda could hardly believe her ears. Both Kyle and Melanie’s comments made her angry, a conflicting emotion the soul was not sure she had ever felt before, not so distinctly; as if the rage did not come from the voice in the back of her head, but something within Wanda herself, woke by this man. She could not come up with a proper word to describe him accurately, not now, and not for the past weeks she had been living amongst these strange humans, at times kind, at times brutal.</p>
<p>“Then where is this coming from? After all this time…" She asked alarmingly, loud, unlike her usual self, but the whispery quality of her voice was still there. It wasn’t Melanie speaking. "Couldn’t you just knock or turn the lights on, sit down and wait like a normal person?”</p>
<p>Kyle hastily walked towards the door and turned the doorknob, only stopped by long, slender fingers grabbing his wrist. She was as surprised by her reactions as he was.</p>
<p>“Don't you think I deserve more?”</p>
<p>"I owed you an apology and I delivered it."</p>
<p>Impatient, he pulled the arm Wanda held hostage, reaching for the door handle once more when, in the subsequent silence that fell upon them, both heard heavy footsteps approaching. With a knock on the door and the sound of a clearing throat, Ian’s muffled voice, so similar to Kyle’s, came through.</p>
<p>“Wanda, are you okay? I heard voices.”</p>
<p>Trusted by Jeb, Ian was the one scheduled for patrols on Wednesday nights. Wanda believed his change of heart as well - of course, those bright blue irises were too innocent to raise any suspicion. In Kyle’s opinion, Jeb was less trusting than just tired of sleeping on a stool, one eye closed, and the other opened. Also, Jared’s rampant concerns regarding Melanie’s safety might have served as encouragement.</p>
<p>“Sure! I was just talking to Melanie. She’s been a pile of nerves ever since we discussed the mission.”</p>
<p>Hey, don’t use me to cover up for this jerk. Again.</p>
<p>“Oh, I get it. We’ve been worried as well, Jared and I, but we’ll both be there to protect you and Melanie.”</p>
<p>“I have a feeling I’ll do all the protecting. You’ll just wait in the car,” she said humorously, stealing a chuckle from Ian. Wanda was quite compelling, and Ian seemed to catch the bait. His brother's face turned into a sneer.</p>
<p>“True. I’ll be back to my station, have a good one, both of you.”</p>
<p>Kyle mouthed a ‘thank you’ that made Wanda bite her lower lip to hold a laugh.</p>
<p>“Actually, everything is fine.” She cracked the door just so she could be seen, while Kyle kept hidden behind it, wide-eyed.</p>
<p>“Hi. So… I’ve been thinking for a while now, it's no longer necessary to keep watching over me. People have been more accepting. Haven’t been slapped in quite some time.”</p>
<p>Okay, now that was a dark one.</p>
<p>“Besides, we are to leave in two days, wouldn’t you like to sleep well and... prepare?”</p>
<p>“Thought you would keep things under control,” he said with a charming smile.</p>
<p>“Well, one is never too prepared.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>He hit the wall a couple of times with his baseball bat, pondering her words. That bat seemed, ironically, so beaten up the Missouri Tigers insignia was already fading, just like its owner’s name written in the handle, a letter K barely visible.</p>
<p>“Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jared and uncle Jeb it was my call.”</p>
<p>This is dangerous. What are you doing?</p>
<p>“Okay, then. See you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“See you.”</p>
<p>Wanda breathed out, leaning on the closed door for support. After that little rush of adrenaline, her legs were like jelly, her heartbeat slowly steadying, along with her breathing; however, this new-found peace was short-lived. Immediately, she turned her head to face Kyle, who stared at her with half-shut eyes, arms crossed on his chest and body tilted towards the wall. Suddenly, she realized the reason why Melanie seemed so hesitant in excusing Ian.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Cheeky, aren’t you? Isn’t your kind supposed to be naive?”</p>
<p>“Some might say I am far too naive, clearing the coast for you.”</p>
<p>“I already told you, I won’t harm you.”</p>
<p>“And I told you, I won’t betray anybody here.”</p>
<p>“Touché. Gotta admit you got nerve.”</p>
<p>“Mel is incredibly strong-willed...”</p>
<p>"Regardless of her."</p>
<p>She looked at him, debating whether he was being sarcastic or not. She had a hard time understanding sarcasm, and they seemed so awkward whenever they talked, each phrase leading both human and soul to a dead end.</p>
<p>“You are quite cheeky yourself."</p>
<p>The passing memory of Kyle quietly taunting his brother made Wanda smile, his presence unbeknownst to Ian.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Nothing."</p>
<p>They gazed at each other, no smiles, but no resentment either. The tension from minutes before had been replaced by a strange comfortableness. Unfortunately, Melanie couldn't disagree more. In one swift move, Wanda’s hand went to the doorknob and turned it right, the click of the door unlocking an obvious message to their visitor. Wanda's confused frown turned apologetic added an amusing touch to it all.</p>
<p>"Subtle," Kyle said, looking beyond her eyes, at that voice, in the back of her head. He proceeded to walk out of the room, and with one last word and a shake of his head, the man was gone.</p>
<p>Wanda, he said.</p>
<p>What the hell just happened? Wanda, are you there? Wanda!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am unsure if I set the tone right in this chapter; perhaps I have rushed too much, so their mutual respect might look like it came out of the blue. To my own credit, I did try to set a time gap since their last proper interaction, which was pretty violent. I like to think the exchange of looks between both of them has been going on for quite some time now and, for me, that's powerful. Our eyes more often than not convey untold truths. Brace yourselves, because I only watched the movie and I haven't found extensive information on the source material. Thus, I will be taking in consideration movie events and character depiction with lots of twists here and there. While writing most of this stuff, I remember listening to Claudia, by Finneas. If anyone is interested in checking it out, though I am pretty sure I won't be listening to it any time soon. Who would have thought that putting it on loop and writing for hours would be so tiresome, right?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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